BREAKING: 50 ft Front Bum attacks “Having a Bear with Duncan” panel live on air

We are receiving unconfirmed reports popular TV3 host Duncan Garner is fighting for his life after a 50 ft Front Bum stormed the set of The Nation this morning and attacked the prolific tv host live on air.

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Duncan seen in happier times reporting outside the Beehive for 3News.

We cross live now to our Man Dan on the scene.

“Man Dan are you there? Can you confirm a Front Bum has indeed attacked the panel?”

“You heard it right folks, Duncan Garner has been attacked by a 50ft Front Bum and is trapped on set along with regular “Having a Bear with Duncan” panel members Big Ted and Jemima.”

Duncan’s running mate for Most Prolific Presenter of the Year award Guyon “Dunkin my mate” Espiner said he was shocked, “as the other voice of the nation, I am shocked.”

Sargent Henry Wright of Auckland Police says that while the Police believe this to be an isolated incident they can not rule out that Front Bums are revolting and is advising all #canthemanban sympathises to remain in doors.

Economist Gareth Morgan say this is further proof Front Bums are nothing more than environmental terrorists, once again are showing what little regard they have for the native politicalhackohglorious in it’s natural habit. Morgan hopes to eradicate Front Bums from New Zealand by 2017.

Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro has offered the use of an asylum should the New Zealand Government seek to contain an outbreak of Front Bums outside it’s borders.

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